Shit Happens

Existing Quotes:

Taoism - "Shit Happens"
Buddhism - "If shit happens, it isn't really shit"
Hinduism - "This shit has happened before"
Islam - "If shit happens, it is the will of Allah"
Catholicism - "Shit happens because you deserve it"
Protestantism - "Let shit happen to somebody else"
Judaism - "Why does shit always happen to me"

New ones that I have devised:

Capitalism - "Shit happens and you buy it"
Hedonism - "Shit happens but we party on"
Shamanism - "Shit happens somewhere somewhen"
Scientology - "I am clear of shit happening"
Rastafarianism - "I smoke shit - do you want some"
Extropianism - "Shit happens as we progress forward"
Nihilism - "Shit happens but it doesn't exist anyway"
Solipsism - "Shit happens to me only"
Paganism - "When shit happens it happens three times over"
Environmentalism - "When shit happens it is recycled"
Fascism - "Shit happens to everyone else"